Addressing the Challenges of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI): A Guidebook for Mentors
Brian Frankel, Mentor Matchmaker Foundation
Allen Lipscomb, PsyD, LCSW, California State University Northridge
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Diversity, equity and inclusion practices help meet the challenges faced by underrepresented groups, breaking down power structure dynamics that create marginalization and oppression. Diversity refers to the demographic mix of participants, recognizing their unique qualities and attributes, and their complex, “intersectional identities” (everybody belongs to more than one group!). Equity is the fair and respectful treatment of all participants – it requires creating opportunities and reducing disparities in opportunities and outcomes. It also acknowledges that these disparities are rooted in historical and contemporary injustices and disadvantages. Inclusion requires creating an environment where everyone participates, feels welcomed and respected, and their talents are valued and celebrated.
Mentor Matchmaker Foundation has a written DEI policy. But how does this policy get implemented in the real world of mentors, mentees and the work they do together? Addressing the challenges of DEI encourages thinking and behavior to see and accept the differences that exist while simultaneously checking your implicit biases, critical self-reflection, privileges, and assumptions within the mentor/mentee relationship. Addressing DEI can promote a sense of belonging for the mentee; model empathic leadership on the part of the mentor; balance the power dynamics in the relationship; maximize connection and joy and minimize fear; ensure that the mentee is thriving; and enhance opportunity, access and resources.
In this guidebook are seven principles for how to address the challenges of DEI in the mentoring relationship. They can improve both the relationship itself and the outcomes for mentors and mentees.
1/ Recognize that implicit bias is unconscious but has impact
1/ Recognize that implicit bias is unconscious but has impact
You and your mentee have different identities and realities. The intersection of identity (gender, perceived gender, age, class, religion, education, skin color, ethnicity, sexual orientation, mental functioning, marital status, nationality, citizen-status, physical ability, income) and life experiences (challenges, family obligations, trauma) influence thoughts, reactions, values, and choices. Most of these influences happen unconsciously - your mentee’s demographics will unintentionally trigger judgments and implicit bias, even if you believe in equity and have strong values. The goal is to recognize the mentees reality and how their positioning in society can be experienced as oppression.
Implicit bias can cause you to unconsciously negate and ignore the challenges and barriers your mentee faces in their professional development. An implicit bias can be the idea that “what’s best for me is best for you too” or “you will make it if you work hard enough” or “you will have the same experience I had in this workplace environment.” You can bring awareness to your implicit bias and suspend your judgement with cultural humility.
2/ Practice cultural humility - the ability to experience the truth of another person’s experiences
Suspend your belief that your mentee has the same capability, capacity, personal brand and resources that you do. This does not mean thinking less of their capabilities nor does it mean to not challenge them and expect greatness. To the contrary, when you experience your mentees truth, outside of your own, you are practicing cultural humility. For example, you will have completely different experiences in the same workplace environment. Think less of yourself in relation to what they are sharing and try to understand what they are going through or have gone through. This will also influence how your mentee perceives you and communicates with you.
3/ Learn about another’s experiences by taking the position of a life-long learner
When you take the position of not knowing, you suspend your own values, judgements, and ideologies. You start to learn about your mentee and how you can best support them. Remind yourself before each meeting, “I don’t know everything. I have different lived and living experiences. I am constantly in the position of learning from my mentee.” Use active listening and be present rather than thinking about what you are going to say next. The mentees are the experts in their lives, they are the one living their experience, and enlightening you on their experiences.
4/ Acknowledge power imbalance upfront
Your mentee may have never been able to tell a person in authority what they think or how they feel. They may have never been able to ask for help or speak up. They may not know how to have a professional conversation with you or have the courage to ask you for help. To acknowledge and reduce the power imbalance, you can tell your mentee “I know I have my Masters degree and I am a VP at this company, but when we are meeting here together I am just a mentor—I am just a person. While it may be uncomfortable asking questions, hopefully with the consistency in how I show up for you, you begin to feel more comfortable and trust this relationship and begin to trust me. I don’t expect that to happen overnight. Please know I am in this genuinely and authentically, and I really want to support your professional growth.”
This will help set the foundation for open communication and trust. You can add “I’m not always going to get it right. I am going to miss things. I am going to get it wrong sometimes. And with time I hope you can call me in on that. You can go there with me.” Your mentee will be encouraged to bring up questions and concerns they actually care about and are important to them.
5/ Improve communication by taking turns leading and following
It is important for you to model professional self-disclosure in your first meeting, so your mentee knows what to share with you. Tell them about your professional experiences, where you went to school, your major, the challenges you faced in your career, your favorite projects and hobbies. This will show the mentee what is relevant and important for you to know about them and will guide them on what to share with you. If they are quiet, you can ask general questions such as “What are your goals and what do you need to get there?”
Your mentee will have his or her own internal dialogue while you are talking. They think about you, your agenda, your input, what you think about them, the problems they return to after your meeting, etc. Constantly check-in with your mentee as you are going over things with questions such as “How does that sound for you? What are your immediate thoughts on this? Any questions or concerns on this?” They may stay quiet because of information overload or because they do not want to ask a “dumb question.” Assure them no question is dumb to mitigate their internal dialogue of feeling stupid.
6/ Encourage talking about access, fear and privilege
Your mentee will not have the same access and resources as you, so be aware of this when you make a recommendation. Mentees may live in a one-bedroom apartment with four other people, and without space for a private Zoom call. They may need to use the library for internet access. You can openly ask your mentee what resources they need to implement your recommendations.
Be open to talk about privilege and how it affects career growth. Explain what mentees will experience in a professional setting and how your experiences will differ. Let them know what to expect in new professional opportunities since they will not have had a similar experience. Ask them what they need to be successful at this job and if they have access to the resources needed to do it. You can also ask what they need based on the qualifications required and what is being asked of them. Your mentee will be nervous, so acknowledge fears and concerns, and remind them “I believe in you, you can do it!” to support their self-courage development.
Stay curious and authentic, but not in an investigative way. Do not ask tokenizing questions or evoke forced vulnerability, such as “What’s it like to be you as a black woman?” Pause before probing and have an internal dialogue to slow yourself down. Think about why it is important to know the answer to your question and if you are asking because you have preconceived beliefs about their background or a judgement of how they present themselves. Simply be respectful.
7/ Identify specific challenges and make a joint plan for follow-through
Your mentee will define a specific challenge to overcome with your guidance before your first meeting. Remember to connect your stories, recommendations, and ideas back to their challenge. You will work together to break down the challenge into bite sized implementable steps to complete within a given time period, such as 60 days. You can also ask if there is anything else they want to get out of the relationship.
Give dual responsibility to your action items for mutual accountability. For example, if the sixty-day challenge is to draft a new resume, send your mentee an example of a strong resume within a week of your first meeting, and your mentee can send you their draft before the next meeting. Then you can suggest a couple edits and your mentee will return a final draft.
Ask your mentee what works best. Some mentees will want to do things right away; others may need time to think. Sending an immediate follow up after your meeting might give a mentee anxiety, so you might wait a day or two to give the mentee time to reflect on the meeting and how they want to follow through.
Two Examples – Putting the Seven Principles Into Practice
Example A: Your mentee shows up to your meeting 10 minutes late in a wrinkled t-shirt. You get upset, believing the mentee should have arrived on time and dressed more professionally. Judgment and the influence of implicit bias may be the result for you. You can think about how you can support the mentee in learning about time management and professionalism. Take the position of learner and ask, “When you think about being a professional at work, what comes to mind for you?” and “Do you have role models who you saw as professionals growing up.” From there make recommendations and connect it back to their challenge.
Example B: You found your mentee a once-in-a-lifetime internship opportunity. But your mentee sees the opportunity differently - not as rewarding, not as interesting, not immediately important, or something they cannot do. Your frustrated reaction may come from implicit bias. This opportunity is “once-in-a-lifetime” because of your own personal experience. When you and your mentee have different views of reality it is a signal to spark a conversation about it. This is how to practice cultural humility and take the position of learner.
You may find your mentee feels uncomfortable about the demographic makeup of the firm offering the internship, or the location is too far away to be practical. You can ask “What am I missing so I can better support you and look for better opportunities for you?” or “What are your non-negotiables, what can’t you give up?” This conversation will also make for more equality and balance to the relationship.
Your mentee might also have cultural obligations that impact the decision to take on an opportunity. Maybe the mentee cannot accept an unpaid internship or an out-of-state opportunity for financial reasons. Their family system may require mentees to contribute financially, perhaps through one or more jobs they cannot give up. Or they may have care responsibilities for a family member. You can be encouraging, but in the end the decision belongs to the mentee.
In Conclusion
In Conclusion
The seven principles just presented are just part of what it takes to make a successful mentorship. The mentee’s abilities, work experiences and motivation also are key – and the same is true for mentors. As a mentor, you also need to recognize where your support begins and ends, and when you can refer mentees to other resources to help them achieve their goals. Addressing the challenges of DEI in each mentoring relationship also builds skill and personal insight, helping to make future relationships more successful.
About the Authors
About the Authors
Brian Leor Frankel is the founder and CEO of the nonprofit Mentor Matchmaker Foundation, which helps young women survivors of sex trafficking develop employment skills and career plans by matching them with career mentors who are successful women in the business world. Frankel is also an Instructor at California State University, Northridge, Tseng College International Business Program. Learn more at MentorMatchmaker.com
Allen Eugene Lipscomb, PsyD, LCSW, is an Assistant Professor of Social Work at California State University Northridge. He is a clinical psychologist and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in California. Dr. Lipscomb received his PsyD with a clinical emphasis in marriage, family and child psychotherapy from Ryokan College and his MSW from the University of Southern California. He also earned a certification in mixed-methods community based research from the University of Michigan School of Social Work. He studied diversity, equity and inclusion practices for human resources within organizations through Cornell University, earning a certification from the School of Industrial and Labor Relations.
Development of this publication was supported in part by CSUN Valley Nonprofit Resources
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